Curmudgeon Eats

My son-in-law has decided I need some purpose in retirement. Knowing my fascination with coffee shops, he thinks opening a shop here in the North woods would be just the thing. He did locate an appropriate location near Target stadium, but that place was evidently sold before we could make an offer. A successful coffee shop located near our cabin has rekindled the idea.

We even have a name for the proposed establishment – Curmudgeon Eats. My role, as the curmudgeon, would be to show up at the shop from time to time and be grumpy. I would kinda be like those ex-jocks who now own bars or steak houses. I am not certain my reputation or persona would be sufficient to attract customers, but it sounds like a great part-time gig. I could slip behind the counter to steam some milk and complain about the other  shops that are all show and no caffeine. Who buys into the value of running some hot water into your cup before the coffee or pouring a little hot water over the grounds to release the oils before adding the full volume of water? We used to make coffee while camping using a Melita device purchased in the camping supplies section or K-Mart. Hard to find a $4 cup made with this device a taste pleasing value. I also plan to offer watered-down Folgers, for those who are not really into the coffee shop experience. I bet no one has thought of that before.

Anyway, I think I have the model for my business. A Valley City (North Dakota) entrepreneur has a coffee shop without employees. (I would make some sarcastic comment at this point about the strangeness of using entrepreneur and North Dakota in the same sentence, but I do admire this guy.) You show up, serve yourself, and leave some money. There is video surveillance and the owner evidently knows everyone so he can yell at those who cause trouble or freeload. I would not have this social knowledge, but I thought I could decorate the walls of my establishment with photos of freeloaders. It would kind of fit with the theme. I also think my presence at a small desk in the corner would add to the ambiance. I would not really have to talk to anyone, but I could write blog posts and stare at the customers. Like most coffee shops I visit, the wifi would only work occasionally and as owner I would deny any knowledge of what the problem might be.

I am seeking silent partners who share my vision.

 

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