The Curmudgeon Speaks

I have been studying to take the MN driver’s knowledge test. I am learning lots – hopefully enough. There are many distances – 12 inches from the curb, your lights should help you see 350 feet when you cannot see 550 and fines – minimum fine for a violation of a work area has been increased to $300.

Some things I have learned disappoint me about the state. Do you know that if you run out of gas and pull your vehicle to the side of the road your vehicle now represents a hazard and you can be fined? I guess you are supposed to just push your car into the ditch because of your lack of attention to the gas gauge (which should never be obscured from view by something hanging from your mirror).

So much for Minnesota nice.

I spend a lot of time generating professional development content for teachers. One of the frustrating things about this commitment is that things change quickly and the more content you generate the more likely something will be inaccurate. I have long used Flickr as my suggestion for how teachers might make educational use of digital photography. One of the major advantages was the free cost of a sizeable storage account.

Today, I learned that my description of Flickr was no longer accurate. Google announced unlimited free storage. Not only was there no cost, but Google described a unique search feature allowing the location of old images based purely on descriptions. You could ask for images of “Paris” to see images from your 2004 trip or Cindy to find pictures of your wife (my wife). This just seemed too magical to believe so I decided to give it a try. I knew that I had taken a picture of a pair of geese and several goslings a couple of weeks ago so I thought I would see if Google could locate the picture.

Sure enough, Google found the photo. You have to admit this is pretty impressive. I searched for “goose” and I find my photo. The photo is labelled “babes in the weeds” so the system Google uses had to know these were Canadian Geese.

Google did return several other images and it does seem there are still some bugs to be addressed. All of the images were of birds – broadly defined. Among the images was the following.

This image did bring back memories. It is the statue of a chicken I think I took in Hawaii. So, Google evidently understands that a goose is a bird and can search for images containing “bird like” objects. Impressive.

The Twit podcast network, long a source for tech news, has announced that it will no longer provide live broadcasts (including chatter from the studio) and do away with the chat that accompanied the live programming. The chats were a popular feature of the programming and used by the on-air talent to obtain information used to answer questions.

The reason for the changes are a bit unclear (to me). Leo Laporte mentioned the chats were having trouble with trolls during a recent MacBreak Weekly.

I find these changes unfortunate as participatory programming is unique and the network is now really offers television online. This will have a different feel.

A year ago I retired from the University of North Dakota. Evidently someone must have noticed I was gone. This Spring I received an email indicating I had been labeled emeritus and given a gift. I was asked to report to the Office of the President to pick up my gift. So I did.

Emeritus is derived from the greek – merit and tokus. Merit implies the need for a celebration and well tokus you can look up for yourself. Evidently emeritus suggests that there is now cause for a celebration as we can see that you are leaving (sometimes and don’t let the door hit your backside on the way out).

The present? This one had me stumped.

I was given a ream of stationary and a stack of envelopes. I think this was the decision of the President’s secretarial staff.Presidents do not involve themselves with such decisions. There is a possibility UND hired a consultant, but I still think the secretaries had the final say. I can kind of imagine the conversation.

Secretary 1 – Grabe is coming over to collect his emeritus gift. What can we give him?

Secretary 2 – The traditional gift is a watch or a rocking chair. The legislature has been watching our budget so extravagant gifts like watches are a thing of the past. The boss has grown quite attached to that rocking chair so I do not want to explain to him we gave it to a faculty member.

Secretary 1 – We must have something around here that will do. Look in the back room and see what you can find.

Secretary 2 -There was a coffee cup with an inappropriate logo, but the cup had stains I could not remove.  How about this – I found some stationary and envelopes.

Secretary 1 – Shall we throw in some stamps?

Secretary 2 – I may have a couple in my purse.

What do I do when I am puzzled by some event in my life? I take a picture and write a blog post.

OK – it probably did not go down exactly as I have described. My name does appear at the top of each sheet of stationary.

Probably an afternoon’s work for a work study student.

Have you seen that television commercial in which the guy decides he cannot spend his orange money on the awesome grill with the sauce rack because he must save for his awesome retirement. Well, when retirement comes Cindy decides there is no longer a reason to wait.

Evidently, it is time to spend the orange money. I wonder if I could spend some on a couple of big kids to help me move this thing to the deck.

For those who do not understand the “orange money” reference, view a couple of the ads on Youtube.

So I was spreading lime on the grass. As I moved around the perimeter of the yard, I was startled by snakes. These things will get your attention.

It gets weirder. The snakes were amorously engaged and one of the snakes evidently makes a poor decision and tries to force its head through the wire net that borders our yard.  I decided to give the snakes some privacy after I took a couple of pictures.

Before we went out for dinner this evening, Cindy wanted to see where I had found the snakes. One snake remained with his/her head stuck in the mesh. Evidently snakes do not have a reverse and the poor animal kept trying to forge ahead. His/her partner turned out only to be interested in a short term relationship and was gone. We could not get the snake out by trying to push it backward or by picking up the wire and shaking. The wire would have to be cut. This was not an easy task. The snake hissed when touched and twisted around. A safe approach – hedge clippers – could not cut the wire immediately around the neck. This would require a delicate touch. The solution turned out to be a wire cutter I located in Cindy’s hobby tool kit. This small tool required a close encounter of the snake kind so I used a shovel to hold the head down and was able to snip the wire. Away it slithered.

There is probably a lesson here, but I will leave it to you to figure out just what that might be.

These days we spend a lot of time at our lake place near Danbury, WI. This is a pretty remote area. I must drive nearly 13 miles to visit a coffee shop. I prefer a shop within walking distance.

Danbury may not actually be a town. I am not certain of the official meaning of unincorporated. There is a great grocery/liquor store and a nice gas station/restaurant/outdoor sporting goods store. And, we have a post office. I had a passport picture taken there. The service was discontinued. I may have been the only patron. There is also a casino. The casino has a $2 breakfast which I enjoy. I do not enjoy gambling – it seems very boring.

There are several vacant buildings in Danbury. Lately, the building (we decided it was an abandoned bank) has been occupied by a donut shop. Some retirees from Little Canada (this is a real community) decided they were restless and they opened the donut shop. They are doing this as a charity to support various causes in Danbury. The donuts are great – a dozen for $5. The proprietors make no income from their work. Every Friday – Sunday they prepare the treats and man the store. With the exception of supplies, everything goes to charity.

Awesome.

I have this game I play. It is a simple game, but deceptively challenging. I frequently make the drive from Danbury, WI to Webster, WI to have coffee at my favorite north woods shop. I have been doing this for three years and have made this trip possibly a hundred times. Here is the game – I try to make it from Danbury to Webster without being passed.

To appreciate this challenge you need to consider some of the factors that are involved. These two towns are about 7 miles apart. This is not a heavily populated area and many times I see only 3-4 cars moving in either direction. This is a two lane highway with one passing passing lane about half way for maybe half a mile – slow traffic please move to the right.

What makes the game so exciting is that I never win. Today, victory was finally mine – another life milestone achieved. I thought I was going to make it a couple of weeks ago, but then a car entered from a side road. I did not see the car coming so I could not slow down and allow it to enter before I passed the entry point (this is allowed in the game) and I was passed just a couple of miles short of the goal.

You might suggest I invest in a faster vehicle. I suppose. I like to drive a truck up here so I kind of fit in. However, my Ford Ranger is likely the wimpiest truck in the county and something with more horsepower might improve my odds.

My disadvantage in this game is that by my rules I must drive the speed limit. I can accelerate as forcefully as I want, but I am not allowed to exceed 55. There is something about this combination of factors that makes it so exciting. In theory, I should never lose, but I never win. I keep trying because I find the challenge so exciting.

According to my scholar friends who study games, these experiences can teach us much. If I accept this position, I must now attempt to surmise just what I am learning. Losing when you do the right thing cannot be the lesson. I am thinking I have learned that “the journey is its own reward”. You do not have to win to enjoy the ride.

Think about that. One more life lesson from your friend – the curmudgeon.

We have actually lived in the Twin Cities for only a few weeks. However, we have had some unique first experiences.

A couple of days ago someone spray painted graffiti on our garage. This was a first for us.

This seems like pretty amateurish work. If someone wants to generate one of those really cool murals I would be pleased. This seems more like it is Spring break for middle schoolers and they could find nothing else to do.

The new experiences continued. We went to the local hardware store to see what we should do to fix the mess. We expected we would have to paint over the the painted area and were worried about getting the paint to match. Repainting the entire garage seemed like a lot of work.

It turns out that they sell graffiti remover. Who knew?

While I am grateful that a small hardware store carried this product, knowing that a small hardware store had the product and the clerk knew just where to find it is also somewhat of a concern.

We can’t resist cool technology. If we can think of nothing else, we explain our purchases by claiming we must investigate the educational potential of what we now own.

Here is the newest gadget. This is the Echo from Amazon. I know it looks like an insulated coffee cup (Note to self – be careful in the early morning), but it is a device connected to the Internet that listens to your questions and attempts to provide answers.

Last night I was having trouble getting the device to work. I had trouble remembering how to address the device. It insists on being called Alexa and I kept calling it Alexi. I have never been that good with names and Alexa seemed to take this personally.

Then I had difficulty getting a complete question out without stumbling over my words. Normally, I can speak clearly and intelligently, but talking to a coffee cup messed me up. If I slurred words, it (perhaps I should say she) would not respond. If I stumbled on a word, she would not respond. Trying to enunciate clearly seemed to make it worse. Once I become self conscious, I have to give it a rest. I let Cindy do the talking and all was well. I have noticed a strange type of technology phobia that degrades my speech. This is a known issue. I hate talking on the telephone and I walk into fast food establishments rather than having to speak into the box when driving through.

Alexa and I are getting along better this morning.

“Alexa, tell me a joke”

What is black and white and read all over?

A newspaper

“Alexa, will it snow today?”

It might snow in Platteville today. There is a 58% chance. You can expect about .8 inches.

[not exactly sure where Platteville is, but it must be close to here. The prediction sounds about right]

“Alexa, what is the time of the Kansas basketball game.”

Kansas jayhawks will play later today at 4 against the Wichita shockers.

“Alexa, play Somewhere over the rainbow by Iz”

Here is a sample of somewhere over the rainbow by Katharine McPhee

No

[I can’t pronounce Israel Kamakawiwoole]

“Alexa, play Somewhere over the rainbow by Judy Garland”

“Alexa, do you like me?”

Yes

All I need to know